Choose the better part

We are one week away from the big day, and feelings of overwhelm and panic still hover overhead. Is it the time-honoured traditions of past family dinners that are causing us anxiety? Is it the need to create the perfect holiday experience that we see in all the classics?

I wanted the perfect Thanksgiving dinner. And the perfect Thanksgiving dinner table. I was frantically trying to sew a new table runner, and I was gifted my Great Aunt’s fancy dishes, but the two boxes needed to be unpacked and washed. I was running out of time and rushing around like mad when my son said to me, “Don’t worry about it, Mom. We don’t care.”

I paused, stared at my son, and let it sink in. They really didn’t care. They didn’t care if there was a new table runner in orange and teal. They didn’t care if Aunt Daisy’s gravy boat and plates were on the table. They didn’t care if there was a new gluten-free dessert. They weren’t expecting all the icing and sprinkles. What they wanted was the substance. The meat and potatoes.

If they aren’t expecting it, why are we? Why is it so important for us to have the good dishes? Why do we need to bake dozens of different desserts? Why are we so busy getting everything ready to enjoy the season, when we should just stop and start enjoying it now?

Our families and friends want us. They want us showing up and being present, and loving, and attentive. They want us showing up and enjoying their company. Let the rest go. Enjoy your family and bask in the love of the season.

I took my son’s advice to heart at Thanksgiving and didn’t finish the table runner. I left Daisy’s dishes in the garage and crossed them off my list. With this huge weight lifted, I stayed present in the moment and enjoyed a lovely dinner with my family.

While Jesus and his disciples were traveling, Jesus entered a village where a woman named Martha welcomed him as a guest. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his message. By contrast, Martha was preoccupied with getting everything ready for their meal. So Martha came to him and said, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to prepare the table all by myself? Tell her to help me.”

The Lord answered, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things. One thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the better part. It won’t be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42 CEB

While Martha was stewing and working herself into a tither, Mary was sitting peacefully, listening to Jesus. Hanging on his every word.

What if we stop our hectic days. What if we stop our busyness of getting everything ready to enjoy the season. What if we stop with all the hustle and bustle and get to the better part now. For the next week, let’s just stop. Let’s forget about Aunt Daisy’s good dishes. Let’s forget about the new table runner for the table. Let’s forget about the extra desserts. Instead, let’s sit down, light a candle, and enjoy the better part. Let’s remember what this season is really about.

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“It does matter how we braid her hair, pack his lunch, send them on their way, greet their return, make suggestions, change the contract, return the telephone call, pass the pasta, pour the wine, listen to a friend, lift a burden, share a secret, visit him in a nursing home, check for monsters under the bed.” - Sarah Ban Breathnach